When I was traveling to Ireland and my canceled flight led to a 24 hour layover, I spent a lot of time with a woman who was going to be on my flight. We enjoyed our meals together and hung out and talked as we waited to get on our flight the next day. One of the stories she shared is something that has stuck with me as it relates to my current situation in a way. She talked about this person she knows (let’s call her R), and how R is always moving around in life. R has a teaching degree and has had many jobs in various states over the past few years. She constantly moves to a new area, tries it out for a few months, and then decides she doesn’t like it and moves somewhere else.
When I first moved to Virginia, I was so overwhelmed by all the newness – my new job, my new apartment, my new dog, my new area. I was kept so busy by it all, and with keeping in touch with my old friends, that I couldn’t even really have an opinion as to whether or not I liked my new spot. I was pretty taken with my job right away and I was liking hanging with Kato and relaxing, but it didn’t necessarily feel like home at all for the first..6 months maybe. Thinking about R and her quick decisions about whether or not a place was home for her made me think about what my decision would have been if I had to make it so soon after moving somewhere. A year and a half later, I can fully say that I love my area, the people there, my job, and everything about it. I do have a tendency to grow where I’m planted, so it’s not surprising to me that I’m happy where I am, but if you would have asked me 6 months in versus now, my answer would have had different emphasis.
You have to give yourself time to adjust and enjoy a place, and to fully explore all that somewhere can be. Even to become close to new friends, you have to give it time. One of my very best friends right now is a friend from my new area. I wouldn’t have told you this would be the case a year ago!
If I could give R some advice, I would tell her to slow down and give it time. It’s completely okay for a place to not be right for you, but it needs a fair chance to be explored for all that it can be.